how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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