If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
