make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My penis needs a shock collar
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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