My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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