can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
