My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
