So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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