He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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