Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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