and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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