check it out our google latitudes are spooning
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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