Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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