Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
