Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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