I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
