grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
