Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
