Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
being pregnant is like rehab
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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