she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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