ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
