i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize