The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
