now i know why i became what i already was.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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