I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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