you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
