you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have aggressive nipples.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
