I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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