I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
