I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
