My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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