Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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