she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
