Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
