Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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