She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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