This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
When did angry sex become our thing?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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