I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
