Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
