Me too!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize