do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
