Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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