if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
