So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
