So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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