He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The uberlube is also flammable
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
