Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
