It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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