I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
