I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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