she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
