guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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