My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize