doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
