yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
