My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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