I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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