He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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